Saturday, 23 February 2013

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

FALLING IN LOVE IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST REASON FOR MARRIAGE.

Falling in love is a time when we are totally involved with another.  A time when we wish to be with them at all times.  A time when we only see their wonderful traits and do not wish to see anything that will 'burst the bubble'.  This is a time when you are worshipped and you worship the other.

THIS IS A SITUATION THAT IS DIFFICULT TO KEEP GOING FOR THE NEXT 40 OR 50 YEARS.

This has been the reason for the 'engagement' time.   A time between falling in love and getting to see other characteristics in our partner.  This is also a time when we should be looking at whether we want to spend the next 40 or 50 years with this person, thinking about where you will live, do you want children, will you both work, how will our families get along etc.  So many girls now days spend this time planning a huge (expensive) wedding and  The Dress!!     This is all part of the fairytale...the day when they will be the centre of attention...the day when not only their future husband will look at them with adoration, but they will be admired by all those guests at the wedding.

Marriage was once necessary for women as they were not allowed to earn their own living and had to depend on a man to take care of them and their children.Without the modern conveniences we have now men needed a woman in their home to take care of them and the family.
The roles were clear cut.  Women did not spend months or years planning the most expensive wedding they could think of, or the dress that would allow them to be the most beautiful woman in the world.  They spent the time before marriage learning the skills that they would need to keep their marriage going well for the next 40 or 50 years.    Each person knew their 'role' and although this did not necessarily make them happy they worked at their own jobs.
Now it is so easy to let go and finish a marriage when the fantasy has settled into everyday situations.  This has created so many stressed women, men and children.  So many unhappy people who have found themselves in a life with someone that the do not really know.   Someone who does not understand their deepest values.
Naturally, there are happy marriages with people who are lucky enough to find a partner with the same values as themselves.  This is the main thing that must be addressed.  What are your values?  Does your partner understand them?  Do you understand your partner's values?

Marriage needs to have a firm foundation if it is to succeed.  The reasons for marriage are not so importnt now as men and women can earn their own money and have their own car and homes.  It is still good for children to have a secure environment with male and female energies to guide them.

Now that we are entering the Aquarian age of acceptance, and moving out of the Piscean age of sacrifice we need to look at our old traditions and see if we feel that they are right for the place we are in.

We are creating new traditions with the situations and world attitudes we are living in now.

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