Recently, during my meditation three Blue Angels appeared. They were holding a largebook titled VALUES. It was a very large book. The Angel in the middle held the book while the other two Angels supported the outspread pages.
As my main interest at the moment is about relationship it occured to me how important each person's values were in their relationship to each other. The book was showing me a page for each person with a list of the things that they valued. There was a photo of each person beside their values.
I asked the other members of my meditation group if they were willing to fill in a page of their values in order to put in a book so that others might be able to look at it and compare their own values.
In the list was, name, astrological sign, age, married, un married, nationality, religion. Also, what value do you place on...money, your family, marriage, sex, your job or career, your home, your friends, spirituality, your sport, your hobby, your entertainment, your politics?
What a list. Just one of those subjects can disrupt a relationship. Look at all the areas in your life where you can have disagreements or differences of opinions.
Many of our values are in place by the time we are five years old. Until children are five they are only obtaining their values by their emotions, not their mental capacities. Strong family values of nationality, religion and home soak into a young child. These values can cause problems for them at a later stage in their lives as an ingrained attitude without them realising that they have the ability to look at thing differently now.
As we grow we develop our own ideas and attitudes through our basic nature (astrological sign) and inhereted family characteristics as well as the many different friends we meet and the many different situations we find ourselves in. We may become dedicated to a particular sport or form or entertainment such as rock music or opera. We may agree or disagree with our family's politics. We may have rowdy friends or intellectual friends.
During our growing up time we form ideas about what we feel is attractive in the opposite sex. We often head for that type of person without realising that all the other values are part of us and part of them.
Part of our western idea of 'falling in love' is actually 'falling in love' with something the other person has that we would like to have, such as popularity, confidence, softness or hardness. In the initial 'honeymoon' stage of a relationship while we are being adored and can do no wrong many values in the other person are overlooked. However, once the 'romance' has settled down a little different values raise their ugly head and need to be addressed. It takes real love to work through the problems that different values present.
Spiritual values of love, acceptance and the knowledge that we are all here on the Earth School learning about how we can develop the best of ourselves can often help couples to look at their differences in a kinder way. Realising that none of us are perfect and we are all learning.
If we are lucky enough to meet someone who has similar values and is tolerant of different values we should be extremely grateful and do our best to help others to appreciate their own values too.