RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING

I have been an Astrologer for over 40 years. I studied with a man who taught us the Spiritual Aspects of Astrology and the importance of understanding what made you 'tick' and the purpose of your time here in this lifetime.                                                                                                                                               

 During my many years of working with people and helping them to understand themselves through Astrology I have had couples come to me to help them to understand their differences.                          

Understanding and accepting others is a key factor in moving into the Aquarian Age                                  All confrontations, personal, religious and countries are all based in the idea that I am right, you are wrong, My way is best, or the only way, your way is wrong. When this happens in a personal situation it is extremely helpful to have an Astrological Birth chart made for each person and be able to show each one why they have certain attitudes that are different to the other. Once each person can see that the other person has planetry patterns that make them think a certain way it is easier to understand their behaviour.

The word relationships seems to be more important than ever now as we are going into a new time of helping and undersanding each other. This is different to the old Piscean way of sacrifice and following whatever has been taught to them.                                                                                                              

I am available for Relationship Counselling for lovers, parents and children, friends etc. I will create a Birth chart for each person and spend time with you both showing you the reasons that you find it difficult to communicate and also suggest ways in which you can work together and accept the others needs. You can come and have a consultation with me at my home in Mayfield West (Newcastle) or I can do charts for you and do a reading for you on a USB stick.   You can contact me on my e mail address shirleydarby@dodo.com.au or by phone (02)40238406.

THE MOUTH

The first part of their anatomy that babies get pleasure from is their mouth. Every new object is experienced there. They may also gain a sense of comfort and security from doing this. From the moment we are born every time we show distress something is put in our mouth to quiet and comfort us. We are trained very early not to accept distress and not to distress others with our emotional needs. When we show early signs of distress we have either a bottle or a breast put in our mouths, then a dummy....anything to keep us from distressing others with our noise. After that it is food then sweets, somethimes the thumb, and as we grow it is a 'nice' cup of tea, coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs etc. Whenever we need comfort we put something in our mouths to stop us from expressing what we feel. This often covers up our real feelings and stops us saying just what it is that upsets us in order to be more acceptable to others. Joining with others, eating lots of food or drinking lots of alcohol or even standing around with friends having a smoke can give a feeling of acceptance and comfort.                                                                                                                        However if the emotional stress is too strong we need more and more of this comfort in order to control it or keep it from showing up. This then creates an addiction to the chosen comfort that is very hard to break unless the problem that created the need in the first place is found, addressed and overcome. This habit we have of putting things in our mouth to cover up our feelings and needs is often the cause of problems in our relationships.                                                                                                              . Having a cigarette puts a 'smoke screen' over your emotions, drinking too much alcohol allows you to drift away from problems or to become violent, rather than discussing the problem.                                           Look at what you are putting in your mouth and why you need excess of this comfort. Many needs come from the first five years of a child's life when they are 'programmed' to accept the opinions of others who told them they were 'good', or 'bad' or 'stupid' etc. It is important to recognise the good qualities that you have and recognise that accepting the negative qualities you have been 'brainwashed' with through life are not necessarily true. Your real friends will be able to tell you the good thing they see in you.                       Unless the need for the comfort is addressed it will be very hard to overcome. A very good hypnotherapist can often help you to see where the problem started, this can help you to address it.   Astrology is also a very good tool to show you your past life attitudes and the tools you have this lifetime to grow and evolve.

Recognising a need and addressing it is so important. Remember that this is a habit that started when you were a baby and only had feelings to work with, not communication. As adults we need to recognise our feelings and be confident in commumicating our needs to others.

COLOUR PSYCHOLOGY

The Psychology of Colour is involved with our human response to different colours. Some we like, some we dislike. At different times in our lives we are attracted to different colours which relate to our emotional and physical needs at the time. Interest in Colour Psychology began in 1947 when Dr. Max Lucher devised a psychological test which used the four 'psychological primaries'. Clients were asked to choose the colours in order of preference. From these choices Dr. Luscher was able to find the client's psychological response and needs. Many other tests have been devised since then and it is amazing how accurately Colour can point to our emotional and physical needs. Think for a moment of THE colour which attracts you at this time. Not necessarily a colour you wear, but one which attracts your attention each time you see it. Like Yellow daffodills or a red car, or a blue sky or the green of the forest. The colour you love at the moment could be a shade (with black added) or a tint (with white added). Or a variation of the original 'hue' (pure colour}with the addition of another colour eg Red with a small amount of Yellow is Scarlet, or with a small amount of Brown is Russet. Variations in colours relate to variations in your emotional needs. So it is difficult to 'say' what colours you like. It important to see it or draw it. As each of us picks up colour vibrations from the cones in our eyes, each of us will see colours slightly differently. Take note of the satisfaction or upliftment you feel when you gaze upon this colour. We often 'love' one colour for months or years and suddenly replace it with another. Once you study the Psychology of Colour you can tap into your own and others needs. This in turn can allow you to understand your own needs and that of your family, friends and partners. Each colour has many different qualities. RED energy/passion/ can 'switch' you on. BLUE calm/peaceful, can 'switch' you off. YELLOW intellectual/joy. GREEN nature/healing PURPLE power/authority PINK love/soothing TURQUOISE communication from the heart. ORANGE relationships/social. What COLOUR do YOU need at the moment?

WE KNOW WHO WE ARE BEFORE BIRTH

Recently we had a wonderful Palmist give us a talk at the Newcastle Spiritualist Church. She had a wealth of knowledge and everyone learned something about themselves. I have studied Palmistry on my own for several years so it was good to hear the way she put all these interesting facts together. However I was thrilled to hear her say that the lines on a baby's hands were formed five months before the baby was born! That information confirmed my Astrological belief that our life, personality and direction were all in place before we are born. So many people blame their parents, their circumstances etc for the problems in their life, but do not recognise that we came back to this School on earth to correct things about ourselves by experiencing situations. In order to accept others and other situations we allow ourselves to go through things that are not pleasent for us. There is no way that we can evolve if we hang on to ideas and attitudes that make us feel superior to others. We choose to come back to the life we are to live. We choose the parents that will push us one way or the other in order to grow. If we have to learn tolerance and kindness we can have parents that are tolerant and kind, or parents that are not. depending on the lessons we have to learn. All of our life experiences teach us something. We usually do not learn much from all the NICE things. We learn most from the harsh or difficult things. If we grow and develop and learn tolerance and understanding from the difficult things in life we are evolving. I always feel that they must have a magnificent computer on the other side. When I look at a person's Astrological or Numerological chart I can see al the opportunities we have through life when Planets move from their original position in a chart to the next Sign. This gives us the opportunity to work with a new element in our lives in order to grow. The same thing happens in a Numerological chart. We move into the numbers of different cycles and peaks through life in order to have the opportunity to work with a different vibration. These Planetry moves and Numerological moves often work together in order for us to grow to our highest potential. We are all blessed with at least one Guardian Angel called our Doorkeeper. This guardian know what we are here for and directs us (or pushes us) into the situations that will teach us what we need to learn. During our lifetime we are often joined by other Guides who can help us learn particular lessons. So we do come here to the Earth Plane in order to learn and grow and evolve and if we watch for the signs that these Guiding Angels offer us we can grow to the fullest potential of this life.

GRATITUDE, PATIENCE and DETACHMENT.

These three qualities can help you to live a happier, more peaceful life. Gratitude and patience people understand. But detachment seems to most people to be selfish. Our society trains us to think that we must be 'involved' with all the people and situations we are connected to. We are bombarded by television and radio with all the horrors of the world. Our Chakras and our Auras are constantly taking in a huge amount of stress. The body does not know that it is not our stress and will create defences (sickness) to protect us from it. Violent movies can also give us stress symptoms and headaches etc. Taking this violence into the Aura has the same affect on the body as taking in bad food that can make you sick. All the major changes in the Planets and energy fields surrounding the earth now in this beginning of the Aquarian Age are aimed at helping us to evolve and to let go of the training we have had over the centuries. Naturally we feel sorrow watching dreadful things happening all over the world, but we need to learn to detach ourselves from situations that we can do nothing about. If you want to do something about the terrible things you witness send some money to a poor country or get involved with a humanitarian group such as World Vision, Red Cross etc. As spiritual beings we can send love and healing to those in dire situations but we need to realise that EVERYTHING is working together to move the planet forward into new energies. We need to practice this detachment on our families, lovers and friends. We are all individual beings with a built in personality and hundreds of incidents in our lives that have shaped us into the person we are now. Loving with detatchments means that you love the person as they are and learn to 'detach' your own conditioned way of thinking and behaving. This is where gratitude and patience need to be learned. Gratitude for all those people in our lives who love and help us. Gratitude for the wonderful country we live in and all the help we recieve. Personally I feel that the MOST important thing one can be grateful for is when you realise that you are a Spiritual being learning lessons in a physical body. The fact that we are provided with a doorkeeper to help us find our direction for this life and that many other wonderful spirit guides come along to help us on our journey is really something to be grateful for. Patience seems to be the hardest lesson to learn. Spiritually oriented people especially find this hard as they KNOW that there is so much more to learn and so much more work to develop themselves into the best person they can be. We want to be that NOW. However we continue to learn each day of our lives and so should be grateful for each thing that we do learn.

LOVE

I keep hearing about LOVE from my Spiritual friends,and from my dis-enchanted friends (who had been madly in love).

Just what is this thing called LOVE? Why does it give some of my friends and family contentment and happiness and some of my friends and family such stress and disappointment?

Relating it to the Chakras, there is the Red/physical/all about me Chakra. The Orange, relationship, what can I do for you? How can I make YOU happy? Chakra. Opposite to the Red is the Green the peace and healing Chakra and opposite the Orange is the Blue, the devotion, communication and self expression Chakra.

When we FALL in love, we are seeing in the other person abilities and talents that we have within us but think that the other person has them.

We are really falling in love with parts of ouself that we have not been able to access. When a soft, insecure female sees strength and confidence in a male she will 'fall in love' with these abilities. He in turn may see softness and empathy in her that he needs. If she learns and develops her abilities because of her close relationship with him she could find that, because of the confidence she has developed she no longer needs it from him. This naturally causes conflict and she feels that she does not 'love' him any more.  In this type of relationship she is using the Red/physical Chakra and the Orange/need to merge Chakra.

My Spiritual friends who use the word 'love' hand out hugs and healing to as many people as they can. Their 'love' is going OUT to people instead of 'love' that is satisfying our insecurities. This is using the Green/Heart Chakra. They are also using their Blue/self-expression Chakra. Being happy as they are and knowing that they are being cared for by Angelic beings.

The English language has only one word for LOVE. Most other languages have several words indicating the different ways we can use this wonderful ability. 

It seems that LOVE that focusses on personal needs has more chance of causing distress and that LOVE that focusses on going out to others in a loving/caring and healing manner without the need for reward can help one to feel LOVE.

THE ETHERIC BODY

The Etheric Body is wrapped around us and is often seen as a white glow. It's job is to hold us together and connect us to our physical body. It is also connected to our Spirit or Soul. When drugs are used to force the Etheric Body away from us for an operation we cannot feel pain. We can only feel pain when it is wrapped around us. Many people report that after and accident they have walked on broken legs and have not felt any pain until later in the day. This is because of the wonderful skill the Etheric Body has to 'move away' when the body is in danger or might be killed. I was reminded of this skill when I was watching a DVD on the year 1012 and the many disasters leading up to it.  While watching a tsuami rushing up on to the land and over people one of my friends remarked  "well, they were probably all out of their bodies when the wave hit"!! WOW!! I knew about this ability that the body had but had forgotten. This was a wonderful thing to realise that God had given us this ability to separate from our physical self if we KNEW we were in danger of our lives. This means that in many of the terrible disasters we have been witnessing the people involved probably did not feel any pain. The same thing happens in a fire. When the smoke tells the body of danger the Etheric Body can leave so that the person does not feel pain. When young people think it is great to get 'falling down drunk' they do not realise that to do this their Etheric Body, which usually protects them, moves away. This leaves them in a position that attracts alcoholics on the lower level of the Astral. These souls who have died from their obsession with alcohol and who still crave it can 'latch on' to an unprotected body and encourage it to drink even more. When you see an alcholic walking down the street talking to himself, he is talking to these entities that have attatched themselves to him. The same thing happens when people abuse their bodies with drugs and pass out. Souls on the lower Astral who still crave drugs will be able to attatch themselves to that person, making it harder than ever to get over the habit.

Usually the Etheric Body dissolves three days after death. This is why in some cultures the body is not buried for at least three days. In some cultures the body is not even touched for three days.

If the soul has some urgent desire to stay here, as in people who have been murdered or people who do not want to leave their posessions the Etheric Body, which is exactly the same shape as the physical body will stay here. We call this a ghost. Sometimes when a person dies quickly they do not know that they are dead and the Etheric Body is in 'limbo', thinking that it still live here on earth.   It is a kindly gesture to show these lost souls to 'the light' as  this is where they should go.

Because the Etheric  Body is an outline of the physical body, if we have a limb cut off we feel that it is still there for as long as it takes that part of the Etheric Body to disintergrate.

At this time when we are witnessing disasters all over the world it can be a comfort to know that when God needs to take large groups of people he has provided us with an ability to be taken to the other side without pain.